KUNG FU FROM OUTER SPACE

movie reviews, comic books, and bullshit

Monday, November 24, 2008

MATTHEW MCCONAUGHEY HAS A DISEASE THAT MAKES IT PHYSICALLY IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO STAND UPRIGHT NEXT TO BLONDE ACTRESSES

Posted by Brian at 8:23 PM

Tags: matthew mcconaughey

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About Me

Brian: Wherever there's a giant, radioactive monster trashing a Japanese city, I'll be there. Wherever there's a terrorist group of white guys with vaguely European accents taking people hostage and only one man can stop them, I'll be there. Wherever there's a flying saucer full of Martian invaders fighting a heroic Mexican wrestler, I'll be there. Wherever there's a survivor of a doomed, distant planet with powers and abilities far beyond those of mortal men disguised as a mild-mannered reporter for a major metropolitan newspaper, I'll be there. Just look for Italian ninjas, Italian cowboys, and Italian zombies. Look for guys with afros and awesome soundtracks who are sick of taking it from the man and decide to give it back with interest. Look for invincible robots from outer space melting tanks with laser beams from their eyes. Look for a dude who can chainsaw off his own hand, duct tape the stump, and then attach the chainsaw to the stump and use it to carve up demons. I'll be there.

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