(An Incomplete List in No Particular Order)
- Make a good Superman movie
- Have sex with a beautiful girl on a big pile of cash
- Invent or buy a time machine
- Punch Geraldo Rivera right in his fucking throat until he dies and then possibly pull off his mustache to hang as a trophy on my wall
- Ask Harrison Ford why he thinks it's okay to wear that fucking stupid earring and depending on his answer punch him right in the fucking throat until he dies and then pull out his earring to hang as a trophy on my wall
- Buy a house with some really big empty walls
- Wear a suit of armor and ride a horse the wrong way down the middle of a busy highway, challenging oncoming cars to a joust
- Rob a bank and escape via helicopter
- Have an elaborate fist fight with a clone of Adolf Hitler aboard a massive zeppelin that's on fire which ends with me throwing him off the top of the zeppelin and him getting impaled on the top of the Empire State Building
- Travel back in time to see a real dinosaur and then shoot the dinosaur so I can mount its head as a trophy on my wall
- Jump the Grand Canyon on a motorcycle
- Jump the Statue of Liberty on a motorcycle
- Jump a ninety-story high stack of motorcycles on a motorcycle
- Jump Evel Knievel on a motorcycle
- Jump a ninety-story-high stack of VHS copies of 1977's Viva Knievel! on a motorcycle while Evel Knievel sings the National Anthem
- Overcome my fears of motorcycles and heights
- Have a sword fight but with chainsaws
- Clothesline Oprah Winfrey on live TV
- Be the first man to land on Mars
- Be the first man to breakdance on Mars
- Learn how to do the moonwalk
- Be the first man to do the moonwalk on Mars
- Invent a dance called the "Marswalk" and do it on the Moon
- Actually physically kill two birds with one stone
- Kill four birds with two stones
- In a strange and tragic twist, somehow smash a stone to pieces using only a live bird
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